here we go again

I couldn't deal with it anymore last night.  D still would't do it, so I had to take things into my own hands. It was around 11PM.  I scrubbed myself clean and walked buck naked downstairs into the living room.  I looked around for anything interesting to play with, and saw some magnetic clips on the fridge.  I took a couple off and clamped my nipples.  Immediate turn-on.  It's a hard to understand this connection--as I slowly stroke the very tip, it becomes a little erect, and a warm sensation flowed down up deeply into my pelvis.

I suppose I could get caught, but who cares?  Everyone has blocks of time everyday when he is by himself, and this I am sure is the kind of perverted thoughts and acts he does: if he is not playing video games, he is playing with himself.  

I always like looking at myself becoming bigger and bigger.  When I first discovered, around 8 years old, that it could change in size inordinately delighted my curiosity.  I cleaned it over and over, as every time I cleaned it, it got bigger, and after a moment it shrank again.  I thought maybe it just wanted to be really really clean.  I took a bucket from the bathroom and filled it with warm water, and dunked my little penis into it, and felt my body relaxing and time slowing down.

The living room was dark.  I sank into the black leather couch with resignation.  It had a mind of its own, and even though I felt a little guilty and a little pathetic, it resolutely, like a king, wanted to be pleasured with impunity.  I felt like using my middle finger of my left hand to softly brush behind my sac, a slight tender motion, and a nasal moan.  I closed my eyes and images of tits and other pink things scattered, like neon billboards flashing by on a busy highway.  I could almost hear the loud, lascivious moans, sounds that were produced for no reason other than to titillate.  Pleasure arrived pretty quickly in waves and I didn't hold out, except I squeezed a few times, feeling it moving up and down with each squeeze, and the seminal fluid flowing up my sacrum, trying hard to jump out.  I let it go, and feeling the enormous contractions taking over my whole body, and clenched my teeth.  A low pitched noise came out of my throat.  I felt like an animal that bled all over the floor.