Chris (Christopher) and I had lunch today and there wasn't much to do at work, so I headed home early. He told me his in-laws are coming over this weekend, and he was trying to figure out what would be something to do that would not make him want to blow up his brain. I suggested amusement park.
"I like the water parks, " I said, "especially since it's 100 degrees out."
"I think people piss in the pool."
"Don't be ridiculous. Who's gonna piss in the pool?"
"Why would anyone want to swim in their own piss?"
"Why do kids sit in front of the TV and watch PBS for 30 hours straight? I don't know!"
We both laughed.
Christopher is around my size, maybe a bit bigger, and I can see that he hasn't been going to the gym lately. When he climbs that two pathetic stories at the flat box of a work place that we inhabit, I can always catch a glimpse of those beads of sweat leaking out of his veiny forehead.
"I actually don't mind her parents much," he said, "she used to tell me that they thought I was too quiet. After we married she once told me that they thought I was too loud. I kept thinking, make up your fucking mind! I used to try pretty hard to make my father-in-law happy, but I should've known that there's not a lot you can do. He is quiet around me all the time. And this one time when we were over at her house, and it was late, we just started doing it, and afterward I came out buck naked to go to the bathroom, and he was standing right there. I thought he was sleepwalking. That was pretty awkward."
I had a grotesque image of Chris on top of his wife, who's not unattractive, thrusting. It was a bit much for me, so I stopped thinking about that, but the more I tried to suppress it, the more disturbing the images come up, as his enormous, ball-like body rolling back and forth over her voluptuous breasts. All of a sudden, he was me--I was the one on top of her, his wife underneath me, smooth, warm, moist, overeager to please her cuckold.
"What's up?" He noticed my silence.
"Let's go back," I said, swallowing the last morsel of Arby's roastbeef.